Monday, May 1

Booty Alert!

Don't you just wish you had a back porch swing like that?

What is it about the human behind that makes men salivate and women go, "Oh, he's got a tight ass!" Titter-titter! "Look at it, just loooooook at it!"

I repeat. Men salivate.

Women go off the deep end.

A tight butt! And they giggle (come on you know you do it!) regardless if they're 16 or 61, elbowing one another, trying not to stare, but in an attempt to appear nonchalant we're rubber necking like mad, our heads looking like paddle balls on strings. I mean, really, it's a darn butt for crying out loud. We sit on it. It's two halves of a full moon made of pure muscle. Well, that is as long as the wearer of said tushy hasn't had one too many Twinkies.

How many authors write about butts in their novels? He grabbed her butt. He cupped her ass. She watched his tight buns as he walked away. Even in erotic novels and eBooks I really don't see much focus on describing the human derriere.

Now TV, magazines,movies, and even radio programs focus on our backsides us as if our rear ends were the latest earthquake or tsunami.

We have songs about butts. Dirty magazines with--gulp--horrifying closeups. Radio programs joking about flatulence (that's a techi word for a good ol' fashioned fart--pray it's not deadly! And if it is, GET OUT OF MY WAY!) We even have cartoon characters dropping their three-dimensional britches.

And if we add bathroom humor to this, we can delight the morbid and often bizarre sense of humor in a child. Or worse, crack up (I said crack up not crack off! Big, BIG difference.) a few warped adults. How many men do you know who love to get a group of people in a vehicle during cold weather and asphyxiate the passengers? Are the callous, uncouth mountain men I'm acquainted with the only ones who do this? (Please say I'm not alone!)

So what is it about that part of the human anatomy?

It's taboo. It's naughty.

It's sexxxxxy, baby!

9 comments